I love to snack. Yeah, that explains my size. I have a sweet tooth, sweeter than yours.
Love yourself before you take the milestone in Committing to somebody else.
Always think of what you have then what you don't have.
Beautifully Imperfect
Thursday, September 30, 2010 I know that I've said this before. I don't like to label myself as a fan. I totally sold myself out just now. Bestie and I was walking around the mall and we heard Cabi Song. I went to the CDs Booth. I only saw the Cabi Song album. Not one of Shinee's song is in there. Then we leave the booth and wander around. When on the way back, we pass the booth again. Then my eye caught something. It was Shinee's Lucifer album. I breathe in hard like I was going to choke on my saliva. haha! Then I pulled bestie arm at once.
Me: "what do think my reaction gonna be if i saw them like normally among the crowds?" Bestie:" I don't know how you're gonna react coz you don't want to be a fan right? But just now reaction is totally like die hard fan! I'm confused. " Me: "hahahahahahaha!!!!"
O to ke? Then at home I watched Shinee's Hello Mv teaser at Shinee Key's twitter. That asthma-like-breath came strike again!! This time my sister.
Sister: "why are you so eager to type?" Me: "did i? I wasn't." Then I start to type again. Sister:" See! did you see your reaction? You type with a big eager smile on your face!"
Aigo! I think I should compose myself again and take a slow deep breath! CAN'T WAIT FOR SHINEE's HELLO MV!!!! heehee.. 9:19 PM
Had a rough start this morning. Argued with mama about Lappy. Then went off to bed and wake up at 8 for emcee workshop. Waked up with a very bad and sad mood. But soon after meeting beautiful people, I feel fine and all my stress is gone. I guess I need to go out and spend time with friends to distress.
I told ayah about my decision to move to Pasir Ris. I said 'yes'. I don't think its gonna be hard to go to school from east. I think its gonna be just fine, I hope.
Should I talk about him? I think I should. I try not to think about him often because If I do, my mood will be affected. I know that if we think of the person whom we love, we should feel happy. But, I feel sad. Ouh! I know why. Its because he is my IMPOSSIBILITIES. It means that I will not get him no matter how deep I'm in love with him.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
What else can I do at home except Lappy. Watch tv, eat, sleep??? I did not even go out and have fun with my friends. I have my own life but I sacrifice and stay at home. I did talk to you about this right. Lappy is my LIFE! what you want me to do? Take care of Amirul 24/7?!?!?!
I have my own life!!!!! Lappy is my survival kit at home. If you don't want me to surf the net always then let me go out. If I go out, you will start to nag. If I on Lappy, you will get angry. Then what you want me to do? If you need my help, just say it to me. I'll do it. Now you telling me that I'm hopeless.
Seriously, I'm tired of all this!!!!!! I just have the motivation to be optimist. Now you are destroying me! Do you know that!!!!
9:50 PM
Monday, September 27, 2010
I'm getting stronger each other. I'm able to control my emotions better now. Try not to cry and hold it in. Keep thinking about things. My mind has never rest since that thing happen.
Love is pain, need sacrifices to make it beautiful.
Had a talk with ayah. Only me and Ayah. It was at 4 am in the morming. We didn't sleep. We went to the coffee shop. Ayah wanted to upgrade the house and move to Pasir Ris since our family is growing. All agree except me and Aishah because we have not give our decision yet. He want the answer by the time he come back from Switzerland. I have 2 months to think about it. Moving into a bigger house is a good idea to me since I need my own room badly. But, all my friends are here, I don't want to be far from them. Furthermore, my school is far. Woodlands to be exact.
Discuss with bestie and the rest, Bestie don't really like the idea but the rest willing to let me move. Now how? O to ke? 11:37 PM
Thursday, September 23, 2010 I'm pissed & sad!!! Very pissed and sad!!!! I told my sister off sternly that she need to respect me and think of my feelings. Instead she still with her big pride and defend herself. She's telling me off because I surf the net late at night. It's my personal life. I couldn't have my time going out. I take lappy as my companion for 'me-time' Its that so diffeicult. I have my life. Tears can't stop rolling.
Aishah, I have been so patient with you. Why can't you just listen to what I say and don't talk back. I'm tired of taking those insulting words. Its like a slap on the face. I'm your elder, but you take control of me. You know I'm weak at arguing. Yet you take advantage of it.
Seriously, I need my own space and room. Stop interfering in my personal life. You are not my parents. Correct yourself first before people's.
I'm really, really, really sad and pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 12:51 AM
Wednesday, September 22, 2010 Where do I start? ok. Celebrity or not celebrity. They still humans right? Normal people as I am right? I'm a person who will love a person without looking at his position. I have the urge to say his name, but I don't want to be those fans. Its undeniable that I feel very happy whenever I see him. I know I may sound crazy, falling in love with a star seriously.
We have the equal rights in this world. Why can't they havve normal lifes on this ordinary planet and live normally even they are stars? I really putting myself into deep shit AGAIN. 12:15 AM
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Whenever ,
I switch on my laptop, I hear your songs.
I on the internet, I search you.
I watch your performance with 4 other members, my eyes notice you first.
your part to shine, I pay fully attention without any distractions.
you strive for victory, I cry with happy tears.
you fail, I worried and cry with you.
you speak, I don't understand but I know.
I fall for you when I see you try real hard to make people proud.
Your deep mesmerizing voice, captured my attention.
Your care and concern for yoogeun, captured my heart.
I treat you like a normal person. Not a celebrity.
Religion, race, culture and location is our barrier.
Ayah will be going Switzerland at the end of November. Its during winter time. I want to go with him but he don't allow me too. Last year, he wanted to bring me but mama don't allow. Opportunity gone wasted just like that.
Everyday in my room stuck on my lappy. That is what I do everyday during this school holiday. Coughing got worst. Its been a month that I caugh. Please get better ain!
Thursday, September 16, 2010 Well, bad news and good news clashh together brings confusion. Looking at bestie's painful break up makes me feel grateful that I'm alone.
I know that time I need to put myself in her shoes and solve the problem together but I don't want to. Its not that I cannot, Its I don't want to. Sorry for being selfish but I don't want to feel it. Its too painful for me. Therefore I cannot do anything for you bestie. Hope you will be strong enough to face the problem. I'll try to help you overcome it.
Next, Zal is attach like everyone knows. Bestie in a bad shape and Besto is in a good shape. Irony isn'it? I'm neutral as always. 10:54 AM
Tuesday, September 14, 2010 I scream and jumped when i received text from Zal, my besto. Its the news that i've waited to hear from her! Its official for her and hilton!!! Ouh, how...how wonderful.. Love is beautiful.... if you made it beautiful with laughter and happiness of course. Now, left me alone with no one... Besto is taken, Bestie too. Now, what shall I do by myself? In case, I'm alone, right. They have other responsibilities to do now, I cannot depend on them anymore right.. Its ok I have 2 pm and Shinee to accompany me wherever I go. heehee ;)
Wednesday, September 8, 2010 Today was Communication. Yesterday was Cognitive. Both paper was manageable. After UT, meet with darlingS.. Ouh man, miss them loads!! There were shouting and huggings. 1 month seems like 1 year! Hariz, Zaki, Nazurah, Solha, Afiqah and Danelia.
Tomorrow is last day of puasa. I cannot fast. So it will still be same to me. Tonight going to nurul's house to meet BEBY. Play fire crakles! Yay!
Yesterday walk home with Fatt. Ouh man, we talk non-stop. It brings back the memories when he always share stories and problem with me. 11 years of friendship! you're my best bud/brother! Fatt, make sure you come my house raya ok! 4:05 PM
Tuesday, September 7, 2010 you know what.. Just shut your gap. seriously! Who is the eldest now? stop complaining and give me some respect, you ol' crack pot!
If you don't like korean then shut up and keep your comment to yourself. Do you know that you hurt my feelings. ALOT! You know that?! When you like techno and jiwang, i never criticise you! Now what! Minah ! A total minah! Act like your age. 13 but it seems like you're 50!
Stop making me like a bad person infront of ayah and mama. I'm your elder sister and show me some respect. Scold whenever you want to. Smack me whenver you feel like to.making social-death rumours about me and somebody! Shout/yell/scream at me like I'm younger than you!
If I tell ayah about you having boyfriend and flirting around, you're dead! When I'm at your age, I don't flirt around and changing boyfriends! Acting all cheap! Next time don't use my laptop because my wallpaper is 2PM! they are koreans. when I'm watching Korean at lappy, You also wanted to watch! You two-faced shipwreck! stop comparing me and Firah. Atleast we do not act all cheap and seductive infront of boys and send flirty texts to any Tom,Dick and Harry!
Seriously, Give me the respect that I deserve! I've been putting up with you for ages!
Its raining outside. Listening to Only you again.haha.
Raya is just round the corner. Honestly, I have not done much religious stuff except for praying Teraweh at Mosque. This year's Ramadhan is not fruitful for me because My period come twice this month. This year's Raya also seems dull for me. I got UT and korea fever is burning right now. Study wise~ never do much. Just browsing thru the notes that I've made.
Talking about UT, today ut, cognitive is manageable. Hope I will be able to score well.
I've been have this feelings again. I couldn't find the confidence in me anymore. I feel fat when I lost 7 kg. I feel ugly when I see pretty girls linking their hands around their beau's. Aww... Zal is getting her love from Hilton. Hopefully they get together and Hilton gives her the love and security that Zal has been searching. Now left me with no one by my side. Sad isn't it?
Sitting infront of my lappy,supposingly to be studying but youtube-ing instead. Urgh! I can't get myself to study. Where are all the motivation gone? Listening to Only You by 2pm which is this song on the blog. ahhh~ fallen in love with the song.
