I love to snack. Yeah, that explains my size. I have a sweet tooth, sweeter than yours.
Love yourself before you take the milestone in Committing to somebody else.
Always think of what you have then what you don't have.
Beautifully Imperfect
Thursday, July 29, 2010 Chatted with MUMMY at FB just now.. I pity her. She is the strongest woman I've evr known.
She faces alot of problems. One after another. WHy people who she loves dearly have to make her life miserable? If you don't want her, I'll take her!
So I plan to go out with her and tell her " I know you are stress. lets go shopping and forget all the troubles. Let's have fun!"
She was so happy that I want to bring her shopping.
Then I told mama about it. She is not happy about it. I know that there is a ceremony in the evening but I can't I just go out? I do a good deed or wrong, it will always be wrong in her eyes.
Why you always fight with me mama? Am I not a good daughter to you? I just wanna make people happy because I know how it feels like when there is no one by your side when there's trouble. I don't know what you want..Mama, please soften your heart and accept things the way they are. Think about others' feelings.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010 Today is my "slacky Day"(clothing).. I'm wearing Liverpool jersey even I'm not their fan. Bestie wearing Man U jersey.
Yesterday, chatted with John Rennel at FB. It was a nice chat. We had fun asking each other well-being and release our expression of missing to each other.(don't be jealous bestie.He's my buddy.) Good news! He's coming back to Singapore by the end of the year! YAY! That's call for a celebration. Miss him Loads! He said that I should find him a girlfriend once he reaches Singapore. -.- Then I told him to bring back a whitey to be my boyfriend. hahaha. He's philipine lived in Singapore and now US.
Then today, thanks to KHAIRUL ZAKI, this video has been tormenting me! He showed me a documentary where they burried children alive. I repeat, ALIVE!!! OMG!!!! I should not go any further. Since poly, I've been introduced to these kind of videos and it disturbs me.. Dang, I should stop watching this kind of videos.
Anyways, I've been watching lots of Black Americans movie.. Gosh, love them! So funny and worth watching!! Gonna find another Black movie!!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Sorry bestie for leaving you. I don't know what's wrong with me today. I'm wearing black eyeshadow which I usually don't dare to wear. I just board the bus when it reach and realised that you have not replied my text. I feel so blur this morning. I think I'm tired. Those heels makes my waist ache and not enough of sleep. But bestie, this is the first time that i left you. Moreover, you are the one who suggest me to go first.
I kesiankan zal. Dia asyik tunggu kita lama2 sorang2.
So I think that makes me to board the bus. You said that I don't think of you. That I don't agree. Don't anyhow said it. I could get mad at you but I don't want.But whenever I'm angry at you, instead of consolidating me, you get angry at me back. Its early in the morning and I don't want to spoil everybody's start of the day. Why can't you think like this.
Whenever I want get mad at you, I think all the things that you have done for me. And take it as its a test from GOD. Please, think of others when others think of you. Eyes was welled up with tears when you texted me just now. I already adviced you to manage your timming. But you said you can't. Sooner or later, its going to effect people. I know you. In this kind of situation, you will give up and don't want to think.
I won't bother you for now. I let you cool down first before talking to me again. However, i'm waiting for you to talk to me again.
8:16 AM
Sunday, July 18, 2010 I'm alone at home. Family went to Malaysia. It was fine at first. But now the pain is excrutiating! it reaches my ear. I can feel warm air coming out of my ear. Its freaking painfull. This is the longest pain that I have to bear. Someone please send me to the hospital! 5:27 PM
Saturday, July 17, 2010 Ouh my! This whole week its been a torture to me. Its been 5 days I'm having a nasty cold and sore throat. I thought its the normal sightness. However, its getting worse. I still force myself to go to school. Yesterday was horrible! I couldn't sleep properly. I coudn't swallow my saliva like I usually does. It takes like a moment to swallow things down my throat. Porridge is the only thing that is on my menu for a moment now. This morning I wake up and feel this a strain pain feeeling on my left neck. I thought that I sleep at the wrong position.
So I went to the doctor this morning. Gosh, I waited for nearly 2 hours for my turn. Doctor said that this is worse than what my sister and mum got. Mine is already seriously infected and that explains the bump on on my left neck. I coudn't turn my head. It hurts. And I also need to rest my head on something. I got 4 days MC. Boring!!! I was given the biggest and strongest antibiotic. How am i gonna swallow it with my swollen throat!
Monday, July 12, 2010 This is the menu when I went home feeling weak and sick! Fish Porridge with seaweed. Side dish was soya bean cake(tempe) and REXODEN for drink. YUMMEY!!!!
I'm tired.. I'm tired... I'm tired... Mama, Ayah...I'm tired. I can't stand it anymore. I want to give up. Its killing me softly. I want to cry like there is no tomorrow. And I did. I cry myself to sleep yesterday night. I don't know what's wrong with me till you look through me. I know I'm fat, fugly and what else? I want the LOVE that I deserve!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Today, Its Tuesday. I had the Monday blues and Tuesday its getting even blue-er. I feel worse than yesterday. I feel like crying and I did. I feel 1% better which = nothing. I don't know why I feel so sad and angry. Is it because of my team, him or other things??? Surprisingly, Benson is nice to me today. Amirul is sick and in the hospital right now. He was doing fine yesterday but suddenly fall ill this morning. Now listening to ASMA ALLAH by Sami Yusuf. It makes me feel calm and sad. My sins to HIM is 'uncoutable'. I'm not a pious Muslim. I feel so sad that makes HIM angry. I think my sins made him not to grant my wishes. I understand. I don't deserve HIS attention, I guess. Thinking of these makes my eyes tear again! 12:23 PM
Monday, July 5, 2010
11 in the night.
Browsing thru my Fb and I came across yours. I feel blissful/happy/sad/angry.
Its a mix feelings. I don't know how I should feel.
Your are not replying my messages. Not even 1. Its just a friendly talk yet you turn it down.
Thinking of it makes me wanna cry. I know where I stand. You don't even look/notice me.
What am I thinking?
You are so different from what you supposed to be.
There is still hope pining on me.
What must I do to make you notice me or even feel my presence?
